The obstacle is the way.

or IMHO, one of the ways

I made a passing comment on my last newsletter, about the above quote which is the title of a 2014 book by Ryan Holiday. I vaguely remembered that the phrase came from an earlier, original sauce, maybe from an ancient eastern philosopher but apparently the original quote comes from Roman Emperor and Stoic Marcus Aurelius. In his work Meditations, he states “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” It basically means that obstacles aren’t just hindrances but opportunities to adapt, grow, and further our goals, transforming challenges into fuel for progress.

Holiday’s book is a good one but like many, I can only remember a couple of bits which clearly struck me and stayed with me.

One reason this quote stayed with me and deserves much more space in my constantly whirring mind, is that I seem to circle the same issues repeatedly. I keep circling the same challenges, getting close to solving/overcoming/beating these lifelong problems, only to find they bubble up again a few months or years later.

Does that sounds a little depressing? But perhaps happens to us all and maybe it’s just part of being human?

In the spirit of openness, these are some of my repeating patterns and challenges that I seem to regularly circle:

- Repeatedly burning out and experiencing regular fatigue

- Not fitting in

- Looking at my paintings and feeling they were all painted by someone different!

- Having too many ideas

- Going off on a tangent and not capitalizing on what I spent hours creating (books, online courses, paintings genuinely heaps of stuff)

Oh shit, that list could have gone on much, much longer…but I’ll spare you. Perhaps indulge me while I explain how these obstacles might be helpful and how I am now trying to look at them differently and see them as potential ways forward.

Repeatedly burning out

Just for context, these aren’t just me being a bit tired or fed up. I burnt-out in my first job at 19 years old after just 8 months and then again 6 months after qualifying as an OT and sadly too many times since. However, I have used this to help others in many ways: disclosing my own challenges with fatigue and ways of coping; used my knowledge and insights to create helpful coaching questions/structures; the burnout often shows me that I am not doing what I would like to doing; the burnout also provides time to regroup and refocus; I could have become an expert in burnout but that would probably ended up with more burnout lol. (FYI learning about my neuro-diversity and its relationship with burnout helped hugely).

Not fitting in

As I now start to see several of my old colleagues with good NHS/education pensions, start to retire or reduce their hours, this one has come into sharp, painful focus. Why couldn’t I have just stayed in the NHS or academia and been normal? I have also failed to fit in, in the coaching professional and other professional world too… However : not fitting in has given me broader perspective on life and especially how occupational therapy can be used in the broader world; not fitting in has build flexibility in me and new skills; not fitting in has helped me build resilience (!); it has also helped me to help others who want to do things differently and create new businesses; it has also shown me that I doubt I would enjoy a ‘normal retirement’ and will probably, happily work part time till I pop off.

Looking at my paintings and feeling they were all painted by someone different! AND Having too many ideas

I’m combining 3 and 4. I stopped painting for over year or and only just coming back to things now. It has become a matter of urgency that I need to see that both of these things must now form part of my way forward. These both lend themselves to visual metaphors I can use in painting. I am also finding other artists who make work that is deliberately different each time. I can’t paint in series, I can’t be a production line painter, and I can only be me in my painting. Being more ‘Jen’ has to work from now on and I reckon it will 😊

OK enough self-indulgence. Some questions to perhaps ask yourself:

How could this (obstacle/barrier/challenge) help me in my work or help others?

How could this be flipped on its head or be a source of learning?

How might my view of this as an obstacle be a modern/capitalism/distorted view? (I like that one)

How could my frustrations with this obstacle, power me further forward

?